The gray seasons nobody talks about
Have you ever been in a season where nothing is wrong, but nothing feels right either? Not sad. Not happy. Just… gray. That’s exactly where Daron’s son Cole found himself heading into the second half of his junior year at Ball State — not playing the football he dreamed of, not sure where God was calling him, and questioning whether any of it mattered. In this episode of The Daron Earlewine Podcast, recorded live at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Daron and Cole unpack what wilderness seasons are actually for, why preparation always precedes purpose, and how the most impactful moments of your life are often born in the quietest, most unremarkable ones.
When God says ‘not yet’ instead of ‘no’
Cole’s junior year was full of injuries, a new coaching staff, less playing time than expected, and a long stretch of feeling like God had him on pause. But that ‘pause’ became the preparation for everything that followed. In January, Cole was handed leadership of a player-led football Bible study that grew to 35 guys. He helped fundraise nearly $8,000 for a worship night that filled most of Assembly Hall at IU. And on a Thursday night before Easter — the same night as the Last Supper — he packed 52 teammates into his living room, walked them step by step through what Jesus endured from Thursday to Sunday, and watched lives change in real time. Daron draws a straight line from Moses’ 40 years in the desert to Paul’s 13 years between conversion and ministry, making the case that the people God uses most are almost always the ones who waited longest.
Rest isn’t stopping — it’s abiding
One of the most honest moments of this episode comes when Cole describes what he’s learning about rest. He pushes back on the idea that rest means doing nothing — calling that ‘numbing out’ — and reframes it as actively abiding in Christ: prayer, Scripture, biblical community, and intentionally putting down the exterior work of the world to build interior character. As Cole heads into what could be his final football season — competing for a starting role and potentially a scholarship — Daron asks him directly whether football still has the same hold it used to. His answer is one of the most mature things you’ll hear from a 21-year-old. Whether you’re chasing a dream, sitting in a gray season, or trying to figure out what God’s doing in the waiting — this episode is for you. Subscribe to The Daron Earlewine Podcast and reach out to Daron directly at daron@daronearlewine.com.
Episode Summary:
What happens when a college athlete realizes football was never going to be enough? In this episode, Daron sits down with his oldest son Cole Earlewine at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for a raw conversation about junior year at Ball State football. Injuries, a “gray” wilderness season, the leadership of a team-only Bible study at “the grape,” 52 teammates packed into his living room on Maundy Thursday, and the slow process of becoming a follower of Jesus instead of just a fan.
Key Takeaways:
- The wilderness or “gray” season is often God slowing your life down enough to hand you a new invitation, not a sign that something is broken.
- Platform without preparation will collapse you. Months of hidden faithfulness build the capacity to carry public impact.
- A real relationship with Jesus is not just doctrine. It is daily conversation, scripture, fight against temptation, and dependence on the Holy Spirit.
Connect with Daron on Social Media:
If this episode hit you in the messy middle, share it with someone who needs the reminder, leave a comment with where you’re feeling stuck, and hit subscribe so you don’t miss Part 2.
Links to the Daron Earlewine Podcast
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Daron: Hey, Daron Earlewine here. We are live from the Indianapolis 500. Well, at least cars in the background. At least the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, sitting out with my oldest son, Cole Earlewine. It’s the extension of the Earlewine family podcast. We’re going to talk about how a sense of identity and calling from God guides you through times of wilderness, times of uncertainty, and really stepping in to becoming who you’re born to be. Let’s get racing in this episode created on purpose and for purpose.
Daron: Hey, welcome back to The Daron Earlewine Podcast. We are live. Well, we are right now. As you listen to it, it won’t be live. We’re at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. I have to go with my favorite place on earth. We’re out in turn two. As you can see over my shoulder, the famous pagoda. Everything’s happening behind us. We’re here on a practice day, and I’m stoked that you’re joining us. Sitting back down with my oldest son, Cole Earlewine, back again on the podcast. Cole, welcome back.
Cole: Thanks for having me back. I’m sure you’re stoked I am here at IMS. It’s hard not to be excited when I’m here.
Daron: There are definitely worse places to film a podcast. Was the invite to do the podcast — so you would say that your desire to say yes increased when you knew we got to record at the Speedway?
Cole: Well, I was going to say yes regardless, but I do like to mooch off you and go here, so I would say it’s a mixture of both. Yes.
Daron: This has become our family’s favorite place. I think we’ve somehow managed to make it out here seven or eight times in the month of May. I know your mom and my wife think we’re ridiculous about it, but it’s unnatural how much we love to be here. So do all my friends and everyone else. They think we’re nuts.
Cole: Think it’s nuts? Yeah.
Daron: Okay, fair. Well, we don’t, it’s fine. Own why you’re nuts and embrace it. Actually, this question I had, it wasn’t going to be my first question, but it is now. I was thinking this morning, why are you willing to come on the podcast with me? I asked, and it might be weird if you said no, but you could say no. And most people — this isn’t public speaking per se, but thousands of people will see this. Why are you okay coming on here and being on the podcast?
Cole: Well, I like to talk. But that’s the cliche answer. For me, right now I’m not working, I’m not in football right now, and I would say I’m not really in my usual roles of spiritual leadership. These past couple of weeks I’ve been like, “Hey God, I feel like I’m doing absolutely nothing right now. This has been hard for me.” I like to work. I’m a person that likes to work. So when I’m not working, I’m like, “Hey God, am I doing this right for you? Am I doing enough for you?”
Obviously that can be a tough thought process and not always a healthy one. But for me, I want to work for Christ. In Scripture it talks about there is works that need to be done for Christ. I’ve obviously been given a much easier opportunity with you being in ministry to do that, but it’s also my responsibility for Christ to do that. Especially when I’m not in a season where I get to serve my teammates, serve my classmates, serve my coaches and teachers. I’m not in that environment right now. Sometimes it feels kind of like a selfish environment, truthfully — where I’m in my room, I hang out, play video games, watch racing, hang out with my buddies. Which is great, and there’s a ton of great things you can do in that. I think I need a season of rest because sometimes I joke that I’m a workaholic, but I do like to work. So it’s nice to have something that feels spiritually impacting, especially when right now I don’t really know where I’m told to go. So it’s nice when God says, “Hey, I need your help here.” And it’s nice to feel like there’s an impact there when I’m not creating impact on my own.
Daron: Yeah, awesome. Great answer, dude. Welcome back. We’re doing a series. We recorded this episode with you. We’ll do one with your brother Ty, and then we’ll do one together. So we’re a year advanced from the last time we sat down and talked. We did a little check-in with you guys a month after everybody went to college, but back again, a year after the first time we sat down. This past year for you, your junior year of college, obviously football is a big deal, but you had some really cool opportunities and wins as far as leadership with friends, spiritual leadership on campus and even on other campuses. I wanted to get into that, but just give us a 30,000 foot flyover of that junior year. Last time we talked, we weren’t sure where everything was going to go. Obviously it was a different season. It’s not new anymore. It’s not like, “Man, I don’t know about college.” You’re getting into your groove. Give us a 30,000 foot overview of junior year.
Cole: The way it works with the schedule is it really is broken up into seasons. Last summer was fine. It was okay. I got hurt. I strained my hamstring pretty bad, so there was a lot of working through I had to do there. Then I broke my hand. I went to camp, played on a pretty banged up hamstring, and then broke my hand going into the season. So I thought I was going to have a bigger role than I did last year going into the season. That got halted. Fall camp was really difficult. A lot of prayer, a lot of time in a prayer closet or in my room or on the phone with dad talking, being like, “Can I do this anymore?” We had a new coaching staff, so that was really hard. I wasn’t necessarily feeling I got the opportunities that I wanted or thought on my timing I should have been. We also had new coaches, so they were doing what they thought was best for our program, which was great. We were building. But personally it was still hard. I got hurt, broke my hand, and was asking, “Is football what I want to do? What is going on? God, where am I going?” The season was not what I wanted. I didn’t play as much as I wanted. But I experienced a lot of goodness. A lot of our older guys — their last semester — I spent a lot of good time with them.
It really started kind of building of, “How am I going to be reliant on Christ?” There were a lot of questions of, “What do I have?” My church in Muncie was really good. Oaks Church, we all go to. They’re just great, really spirit-filled, and a really great opportunity there.
The fall was difficult. We weren’t very good. I wasn’t playing the way I wanted to, but I found myself being like, “Okay, well, it’s so hard as a college athlete, especially for football, for your sport not to be an idol because your whole life is wrapped around it.” My whole schedule, all my friends — it’s wrapped around it. But I got to the point where, no matter what happens, I’m actually a child of God first. Obviously you still struggle with things. You’re not perfect, which is difficult for me, because as every athlete, you want to be perfect, but you’re not.
The fall was tough. We came back in the winter, and I remember getting to the end of the fall semester. My buddy Jackson Reese, who you know, good buddy of mine — another follower of Christ. We got to the end of the year and we were like, “Dude, I feel like life is kind of gray right now. I’m not sad. I’m not happy. It kind of feels like God is just putting me in a place of just nothing.” Which is a strain. We had a conversation till about midnight one of the nights as the season was ending. He was like, “Dude, I feel the same way. I don’t really feel like I’m growing a ton spiritually. I don’t really feel like we’re making a ton of impact right now. I don’t feel like football has been great for either of us. There’s not a ton of wins. It’s just kind of like you’re going through life.” And we were both like, “Is that bad?” We were working through that. We were like, “You know what, maybe it’s just what God has right now.” We were praying about it, being like, “God, we want to move in a way that is fulfilling. We want to chase after something.”
Then comes January, which I feel like this year, the start of this year has been super impactful — that life isn’t gray anymore. Or at least it wasn’t a semester. I got to visit a bunch of friends this semester, which was awesome. My buddies have been my friends for a long time. In January, I was given the football Bible study.
Daron: So give us some context. What is the football Bible study, for somebody who doesn’t know what that is?
Cole: This football Bible study started with someone before me that I actually don’t know. It seems to be Trent Hatfield. He started a Bible study and then led it with four guys. He kept inviting people. It grew and grew. He invited my buddy Jackson Weigel, who was not a follower of Christ, found faith in this Bible study, and then it was given to him.
Daron: This is team player-led?
Cole: Team only, team only. Sometimes coaches or student assistants come. Anyone a part of the football program comes as a part of it. Guys bring their friends. It doesn’t matter. If you’re a part of Ball State football, you’re invited to be with us.
My buddy Jackson Weigel led it from my first year. I joined early and as a freshman I showed up and I was like, “I’m a Christian. I’m going to speak.” Throughout the year, me and my two buddies, Elijah and RJ — who I talked about in the last episode — we were big parts of the study as young guys. We did a bunch of things for them. Sadly, Elijah and RJ transferred and I was the only one left. But I had stepped into a leadership role in the fall before they had left, because we had done a discipleship thing the year before — the spring before. They basically built us up to be the leaders of the study. So they graduated, and then it was ours.
We had it at “the grape,” my house. For people that don’t know, my house is purple. So we call it the grape. It’s old, but it fits a lot of people. The first Bible study — everyone kind of knew I was going to get it because they knew I had accepted that role of leadership. I was kind of like, “All right, I did this opening Bible study. We had 35 guys. This is sweet. We’re growing this.” Because we dwindled out in the semester. People are on fire for Christ in January. You get to the end and it’s like, “Dude, I can’t make it. I’m exhausted.” So 35 guys, the next week it’s 30, next week 25, 20. You get to the next month and it’s consistently 15 guys. So it was great and really big at one point. Obviously numbers matter, but they don’t, you know what I’m saying?
That was super impactful. We had a lot of guys in the study. But what’s been really cool is we’ve had some young O-linemen we’ve been discipling this year. I’ve literally seen their lives be changed. I kind of hope they all see this because I love those guys. They make my life better. I hope we’ve discipled them in a way that they’ve wanted to.
We’ve really poured into a lot of them. Me and my buddy Jack and Eli, who’s also my roommate, we’ve all hosted Bible study and done that this year. But it’s been kind of my role. Sometimes we have a lot of young believers or guys that are unsure, so I have to ask a lot of questions. I have to drive the conversation. There was one week I was like, “Fellas, I need you guys to talk and ask questions this week because I’m exhausted. Guys, I’m spiritually exhausted and I’m mentally exhausted. I have nothing for you guys today. I have the Spirit and that’s it. I’m nothing today.” Sometimes I have to be like that, like, “Guys, I need your help.”
Daron: Take me back to when you found out that you were going to be given the leadership of that. Obviously you started off as a freshman, these older guys are leading it, you help be a part of it. I think a lot of times — and I don’t think it’s just because you’re 21 — I think people could be 31, 41, 51, whatever. When they go from “I’m a participant” to “Oh wait, this is something that I’m going to lead now” — what was it like to jump over that wall, if you will, of “I’m an active participant, but now I have to lead”? Did you have questions or doubts? Did you think, “Man, I’m not equipped for this. Should I be the leader?” Or were you like, “No, I’m ready for this next step”?
Cole: No, I think for me, leadership is natural. I think it’s one of the abilities God’s given me. You and my mom talked about it, prayed about it when you guys were having me, me being a leader of men and those things. That doesn’t bother me. I think people respected me in my knowledge, also respected me as the person I was, and knew that I was trying to get better.
For me, one thing I was glad about is I like the responsibility of leadership. I’m very much a rule follower. The most — when I don’t have, I call it, “spiritual responsibility” towards people — sometimes I feel like that’s when the devil can be like, “You can do whatever you want, Cole. Nobody’s watching you. It’s just you and you, you can do whatever you want.” Or when you’re in a trusted group of people. That’s where I feel like sometimes he tries to tempt me and be like, “It doesn’t matter, Cole. No one’s seeing you. You don’t have to put on a thing for anyone. You don’t have to do this.”
One thing I enjoy is when it’s with my teammates. There’s a spiritual responsibility. Obviously everyone goes out on weekends in college. For me, I think to myself, “What if every weekend or all the time people saw me going out and doing whatever I wanted to do? I’d be like, these guys are thinking I’m a fraud.” I’m not saying I’m perfect, and I’m not saying I’m not relatable to people. There is a responsibility to hold, and I don’t want people to think, “Well, Cole tells me all these things but doesn’t do them.” I want to do all these things I tell you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to, but I want to do them. So I enjoy the responsibility.
Daron: So you’re saying that having the leadership opportunity, privilege — but also for you, the responsibility — helped you level up and stay focused on the straight and narrow?
Cole: No doubt. I think football helps that. But for me, I was thinking, “You can’t, as a leader, mean people follow.” So if your direction is not direction towards Christ, you’re leading them astray. I think about so much of Jesus’ teachings, “Follow me.” It’s not, “Hey, follow each other.” It’s like, “I am the leader, so you have to follow me.” And you think about Paul talking about being an imitator of Christ, and Paul says to imitate him. Well, if I’m not at least trying to imitate Paul, then who are the guys that don’t know? Who don’t have 21 years of being in a ministry-filled home? Some of my buddies were like, “Yeah dude, I thought I may have been an atheist this year until you guys told me who Jesus was.”
How’s he going to know? He doesn’t know any better. He’s not getting filled with this. He’s not getting asked to film a podcast and being like, “Sure.” So I think that’s important too. But also, one thing I struggle with — and me and you have talked about this — is being a leader but also being relatable. I don’t want people to be like, “Man, this guy’s cookie cutter. He does everything right.” Trust me, fellas. I was just reading in the book of Luke talking about the blind man that Jesus healed. He said, “Jesus, have mercy on me, for I am a sinner.” And Jesus’ response was, “Because of your faith, you can see.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot of, “Man, I feel like I need to cry out and be like, ‘Jesus, I still need mercy.'” Sure, I do these things well, but Jesus, I do a lot of things wrong. Obviously He knows that. I think that’s where we get into grace and the goodness of it all. But that leadership responsibility is also reminding myself, going back and being like, “Hey Jesus, I still really need your mercy because I’m not perfect by his means.”
Daron: Well, it reminds me — I was just having a conversation with Ty, your brother, this week about the discipleship huddles that I lead. One of the first things we teach people is the three elements of discipleship. There’s information — you’ve got to have some information, you’ve got to have the Word. But then it’s imitation, where you actually begin to imitate. I’m going to do what Jesus did as much as I can in my capacity. But also, I’m going to do my best to live a life worth imitating. If you don’t know how to pray, this is how I pray. If you don’t know how to serve or read the Bible, or you don’t know how to forgive or to give — I’m going to actually take it seriously that this isn’t just information I have in my mind, like I could win a Bible Bowl quiz. I’m going to imitate this. And then the last part is innovation, where everyone takes it and lives it in a different way.
It’s been interesting — I think maybe we talked about this in the past episode — taking you guys through our spiritual DNA course your senior year and understanding for you, motivation-wise, what’s your core motivator. Understanding from the Enneagram, you’re a Type One. So you’re the Reformer. It’s important to you that you are good and are seen as good, and that you do things exemplary. That definitely drives you. It’s been cool to know this is how God’s made you, but to help you balance that — the blind spot for you is you can get caught up in, “I have to be perfect. There is no room for error.” Which is a great talent, a great gift that God’s given you. But you’ve got to know that’s interesting in leadership of knowing, “I need that mercy. I also have to be able to give myself grace and know that I’ve got to experience that so I can also extend it to the guys that I’m leading.”
So you added to that — you had some amazing spiritual experiences. I love the idea of that point where you and Jackson Reese kind of had that, “Man, stuff feels gray.” It makes me think about — there’s a season when I was in college, I remember, where Damon, my brother, and I — it was my sophomore year — life had changed. We were trying to chase this dream to be in a band, and we had no band, we really had no friends, we didn’t have girlfriends. We lived in this terrible duplex apartment in Marion. It was disgusting. I remember one night we were just sitting there like, “There’s got to be more than this.” Just felt blah. I remember that night, Damon said to me, “I think we should just pray and tell God we just want to use our gifts. We just want to serve, whatever that means.” That night we prayed and asked God that, and literally the next week, Damon forgot his guitar in a parking lot, and these guys found it and brought it to our house, and they were looking for a drummer and a guitarist to join their group.
I think it’s interesting — and maybe that could be a takeaway for people — if you’re at a point where it’s emotions, it’s mental, but there’s also a spiritual element where your spirit is calling you into something more. Look at all the Scriptures — whether it was Jesus being led out to the wilderness, there’s many other stories of people being led into a gray or wilderness season. We can maybe take that as, “There’s something wrong with me.” But I think sometimes those environments are God slowing everything around us down enough to go, “Hey, I’ve got a new invitation for you.”
Hey, sorry for the interruption here in the podcast, but I wanted to take this moment to invite you into something. If you’ve ever been in a place in your life where you just felt stuck, you felt like maybe you’re just spinning your wheels. You’ve been thinking, “There’s got to be more for me.” I listen to the podcast all the time and I hear Daron talk about “on purpose and for purpose.” “I have to discover my purpose.” Well, that feeling is right. You do need to. And I want to help you. I want to be a guide for you to step into who God’s created you to be. That’s the purpose in the design of what we do with Rogue Collective Coaching. So if you’re curious, or you know, “Listen, I’m not curious. I know it’s time for me to take action” — here’s your call to action. I want you to go to RogueCollectiveCoaching.com. I want you to click the button that says “Book a Discovery Call.” Jump on a 30 minute conversation with me. We’ll talk about where you are, and if Rogue Collective Coaching is your next step to help you become who you were born to be. RogueCollectiveCoaching.com. Book a Discovery Call. Can’t wait to chat with you. Let’s get back to the episode.
Daron: So you had the leadership in the group, but you also had a pretty cool thing happen second semester, kind of randomly, that allowed you to get involved in something that actually impacted IU’s campus. Tell us that story.
Cole: Yeah. Big shout out to my buddy Stuart Reimers. He had this idea, and he’s an IU guy. He just graduated. But my buddy Austin Locke, who is friends with Stuart, texted me when we were coming home from Arizona together. He was like, “Hey, we have this opportunity. We want to do this thing about Jesus, basically like a worship night.” So if anyone’s ever been to Elevation Worship or something like that, it was kind of a vision like that.
For people that don’t know — my buddy Stuart called me. He said, “Hey, I know your dad’s in ministry. I know you know how to do fundraising. I’m looking to do this and grow this.”
Daron: But you didn’t know how to do it.
Cole: No, he said, “I know your dad knows how to.” He said, “Could your dad help us?” And I was like, “Sure.” When there’s things for Christ, I’m just kind of like, “Yeah, I’ll help you. Why not?” My buddy Austin’s a good friend. I was like, “If you’re friends with Austin, you’ve got to be a good guy.”
I hopped on a call with Stuart. He tells me his vision. He’s like, “Hey, I had this vision. I want to basically fill IU with all these students and do all this stuff.” He had all these crazy God visions and connections.
Daron: Was it just a vision as an idea, or did he have a dream about it?
Cole: He had a couple of dreams and crazy God connections. There was a guy that told this other guy — I wish Stuart was here to tell it. He had this vision of all these buses picking up students to take them to some big campus somewhere. And Stuart had a vision of seeing IU filled with everyone. I don’t want to tell the story because I’m not going to get it right. But it was all these crazy things. I was listening to the story and was like, “Yeah, I believe whatever you’re saying, that’s for sure.” He was showing me all these pictures. I was like, “Yeah, I’ll help. I wish I could have done a little bit more, honestly, looking back at it. I was so busy with everything else.” Stuart knew that.
He said, “Could you help us fundraise?” I was like, “Sure.” I just started calling people, “This is not Ball State. This kind of involves me. Would you be willing to donate for this cause?” I ended up raising about eight grand for them. Stuart ended up raising tons more. He had all these awesome God moments and got connected with people. It ended up filling almost all of Assembly Hall with all these people. Sadly, I didn’t get to go because I had practice that day and I couldn’t go, which was a bummer. But there was a ton of impact. Stuart and [Cliff Knechtel — verify] spoke there, for the followers that know them on Instagram. Tiffany Hudson led worship there. Stuart said it was amazing, super Christ-filled.
What’s also pretty cool is after that, because of that situation, a buddy of mine, his name’s Nathan at Ball State, he’s a swimmer. He has had this vision, actual vision from God, of having Worthen — which is our arena at Ball State — be filled with students. So now I’m in the works of helping him create something at Ball State that unites the community. We want it to be led by Cru and Navigators — the campus ministries there — and then FCA. That’s how me and Nathan got connected. We’re big people in FCA, so we became friends. It was crazy. One night we were talking and he was praying for this. I asked him, “Well Nathan, if you’re praying for it, why don’t you just go and do it?” And he’s like, “Well, I just feel like I’m still kind of waiting to do it.” Then he was telling me his vision. He goes, “Didn’t you work with Night with the Son?” I was like, “Yeah, I was somewhat a part of it — not as much as I wanted to be obviously, because I don’t go to IU and I was so busy.” So now it’s like, we’d maybe be creating something at Ball State the same way.
We’re building it this summer. He’s going to be on campus, I’m going to be on campus because of swimming and football. We’re going to keep growing it and praying over it and see if we can do something — maybe not the same as IU, but something that builds Ball State as a campus, or at least unites the campus. I may not be able to reach the lengths that IU did spiritually because it may be difficult just with administration and everything. But now we’re like, “Let’s do something at Ball State. Let’s make impact here.” There’s a year. Nathan said it best. He said he feels like there’s a yearning for Christ on our campus that people don’t know how to get to. I’m just like, “You know what God, that’s great.”
But back to our point with the preparation — with the gray seasons — I do feel like there is a season. I was just listening to a sermon this week talking about how so many people want a platform without preparation. I’m going to quote it — Pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell out of Atlanta. He calls them “digital disciples.” I’m one of his digital disciples. I listen to his sermons every week during the week. He was talking about how people want platform before they want preparation. I was thinking about that — there’s a season where you have to be prepared for everything. So I feel like that month of November and December was preparation for the semester. Then obviously I feel like I stretched myself completely thin with everything I did this semester. My buddies Elijah and RJ were like, “Hey bro, you need to get back at the feet of Jesus. Because if you’re going to go back out and do things again, then we’re going to start building with [Packworth — verify] and we’re going to start doing the study again. You have any other things you want planned. You could be playing this year, having mobility, balance, being a player without that time commitment — but also being a follower of Christ still. How are you going to get all this done?” They said, “Bro, you have to be prepared.” That’s basically what they said. And that kept repeating.
So that’s also important for people to know. It’s like, this is cool that I do all that stuff, but there’s also a point where you can’t be some of the way I am, where you want to work, you want to work, you want to work. Well, then you also miss the point. The point is, you’re not working, you’re working for Christ. So if He wants you to go right, you should go right. You can keep going and say, “Oh, I’m on the right path,” but you actually took a left. Because it’s not yours.
It could be born in your flesh and your desire, or whatever it is — because that’s what that sermon was talking about. For me, I also had to figure out how do I move in preparation to then go wherever He needs me to go? Because it’s difficult. You don’t always want to do that. You don’t want to wait.
Daron: We talked about it at the kitchen island the other night, of just looking at — the God-prepared, “you’re sent.” There’s seasons of preparation. Some people forget that the Apostle Paul had his big conversion, and then it was something like 13 years — that part’s not written about. We have, well, he went and met with these guys and he did this. But there were years of preparation. About 40 years for Moses. The fact that Jesus — we don’t really know what He did much for 30 years. Lots of preparation to step back out. And then I think what you’re even talking about is then knowing there needs to be that balance. We talked about this too — mom and I came at you and said, “Hey, this could be your last summer before you graduate. We’re going to do what we can so you don’t have to have a job, where you could actually rest for the first time in a long time.” That’s a big thing too — understanding that we start from rest, we grow out, we’re fruitful, we work with Jesus, but we’ve got to come back to rest. We’ve got to be able to take care of ourselves. So I love that you’re picking up on that.
Cole: I want to say one more thing before moving on. One thing I’ve found — and I hope listeners know this too — rest does not mean just stopping and doing nothing. Rest means resting and abiding in Christ. I was just reading the first part of Jamie Winship’s book and talking about abiding. To me, it means to be with and be around. That’s very important too. Resting is not, “I’m just going to sit on the couch and do whatever I want.” It’s like numbing out.
Daron: Yeah, it’s like numbing out.
Cole: Which I can do. I’m a person that gets like that. I’m just like, “Whatever I’m doing.” Resting is putting your rest in the fact that Christ has you in the season. So right now, truthfully to everyone listening, I’m so bored at home. I love being home. It’s great, but I’m so bored. There’s a part of that where you need to be building. But the hard part is when you are resting, you will be faced with more temptation. People talk about an idle mind being the devil’s playground. He will go at you when you’re at rest, because when you’re moving, you’re not thinking about it. But you have to keep moving in that way. Resting is not just stopping. Resting is being in Christ all the time. Which is very difficult for me.
It’s not, “Oh, I’m resting, I’m going to take a nap all day.” It’s, “I’m resting, I’m with Christ. I’m in time of prayer. I’m in time of reading. I’m in biblical community. I’m taking a break from the exterior works of the world to create the internal character I need to move forward.”
Daron: Yeah, love it. Tell us a little bit about the cool thing that happened around Easter.
Cole: This is also a pretty cool one. Shout out to my buddy Jack and to my buddy Tristan. Tristan has helped me lead the study a lot this year as well. We were getting to Easter and we were like, “Do we got to do something for Easter?” In other semesters we’ve done full prayer nights where we don’t read the Bible. We read one section about prayer, then we just pray for an hour and a half. This year we were like, “You know what, let’s do something different.”
The way it happened — our Bible studies were on Thursdays. We were like, “Hmm, the Last Supper was on a Thursday night.” We had an idea. We were all at Oaks together and we were like, “We should do something.” Jack had the idea, “What if we had people over and had a meal?” I was like, “That’s a good idea.” He said, “Have a meal.” I was like, “What if we actually presented what’s going to happen this weekend instead of just being like, ‘Read the story and move forward’?” So we kind of had this idea. We were praying on it. Tristan was like, “Dude, I think it’d be great. I think we could make a ton of impact.” Jack was like, “I agree.” I was like, “You know what, let’s do it.”
So that Thursday night, we bought 100 hamburgers, six pounds of mac and cheese. Tristan bought six pizzas. We had chips and drinks. We just had so much food for all these people. Our head coach found out what we were doing and he helped fund some of our stuff so we could make these meals for our teammates.
Daron: But you went and asked for the opportunity to speak to the team.
Cole: I’m getting to that point. This is all the preparation stuff to get before. We were doing all these things to plan this out. Me and Tristan were like, “We have a thing called TeamWorks.” It’s basically a software we’re all a part of and you can send messages. We have group chats. We were like, “I want people to see that I want them in my home.” They were all coming to my house. “I want them to see us.” We had a team meeting on that Thursday morning. Coach said, “Hey, I’m going to put your guys’ names up there. Go up there.” Tristan started, “Hey guys, we’re doing this tonight.” I just told him, I said, “Listen, fellas, I don’t want to text you guys. I don’t want to just brush this over. I want to invite you into my home. I know a lot of you can’t go home for the Easter season. Some of you may not know what the Easter season is. You may not understand why we even do it. You may not understand the magnitude of this weekend. I want you guys to be in my home and come feel this. Come get a free meal. We’re going to cook all that stuff. Come join us in my home. I want you in my home with me.” I wanted them to see that I actually wanted them there, and not just like, “Hey guys, pull up if you want.” It’s like, “No, I want you all there.”
We told them dinner’s at 5. Now getting to the actual thing — at like 2:30, Jack, our grill master — he’s the best at grilling — grilled for literally two hours. He made over 100 burgers. Eli, our roommate, made six pounds of mac and cheese. We had freshmen bringing waters and drinks and everything. We had all this food.
I’m upstairs getting ready, and I basically put together a sermon of, “Hey, this is what Jesus went through on this day for you guys.” I broke it up into things like, “What happened to Jesus before he was crucified?” Because there’s so many things. He was betrayed. He was lied about. He was forsaken. He was abandoned. He was beaten. And then he eventually was crucified. I basically went through and we walked step by step of what happened from Thursday of the Last Supper until Sunday’s resurrection. I took them in different parts of the book of Matthew and just cross-referenced everything. We got down to the end and I showed them the videos from The Passion of the Christ — of Him being beaten and destroyed. Then we panned to the end of Him getting crucified. I said, “Guys, every time you wear your cross, every time you do these things, that’s what this actually means. That’s what Easter actually means.” Because there’s a lot of guys — and this is no, nothing wrong — people have things tattooed on them. They wear necklaces. It’s a representation of Christ. But if you’re going to do those things, you need to understand the magnitude behind it.
My purpose was, “We don’t want you guys to think you did anything wrong. We want to show you what Jesus did for you.” We have a roster of 100-plus guys. We fit 52 of them in my living room.
Daron: Wow. You sent us the video of it. It’s packed.
Cole: Our house is not big. We had guys overflowing in the back section. We have two floors — like a little balcony thing. We had guys up top. I was just sharing with them, “This is what happened, guys. This is what happened to Jesus. When you guys think anything’s too great for what’s going on, this is what He went through.” I explained to them, “This is the PG-13 version. Guys, he was unrecognizable. He did all these things, but He rose for you.” Just getting that point across — this is what Easter is about. It’s called Easter, that’s great. This is why it’s here. This is what we’re doing. Just showing them the truth of that.
There was a ton of impact. We had 52 guys there. We gained some more guys at the Bible study because of it. They were like, “Hey, this is the truth of He went through all of this. He wasn’t just killed. He was betrayed by His friends. He was praying out to Christ, ‘Take this away from me. I do not want to do this.'” I told them, “Guys, there are any moments you have that in your life — you don’t want to do something, but you have to do it.”
That was a pretty cool night. Really spirit-filled. I spoke, Jack spoke, Tristan spoke. I did it predominantly just because I had the most experience doing it. There was a ton of impact, which was really cool.
Daron: I love it, dude. I want to give a big shout out and thank you to a lot of our Blackbird Mission monthly donors. If you’re new to the podcast, all this is provided by a nonprofit called Blackbird Mission. You came to us, Cole, and said, “A lot of these guys don’t have Bibles. I want to get them some Bibles.” Because of the generous support of our monthly donors, we’re able to provide Bibles for all the guys that are part of this Bible study. If you’re listening to the podcast and you’re a sponsor and you’re inspired by the story, know that you’re helping these guys get into the Word. You provided Bibles for them to have, which was phenomenal.
Cole: We give those away weekly. There are some guys that really don’t have one at all. The cool thing about the study Bibles we bought — for guys that don’t necessarily know what’s going on, it’s very helpful to them. We keep a box in our living room every day. It’s just there because, “If you’re here, take one.” We have guys that have taken them. Some guys don’t want them. Some guys use their phone. But it’s always an option. Like, “Hey, just have it.” So thank you to everybody that does that. Ball State football now has a lot of study Bibles.
Daron: We want to keep moving because we have to get these podcasts done before they start racing on the track this afternoon for practice, or it’s going to get real loud in here. Here’s what I want to close with, Cole. What I love about this episode — and what I love, as your dad and this podcast host — is watching this journey going into your senior year. So much of the frustration of your life for the past three years has been, “I’m giving everything to the grind of this game. It’s not giving me the results or the return on investment that I want.” The cool thing is, we won’t have time to talk a lot about this, but you will be competing for starting position this year, which is phenomenal. Potentially competing for scholarship. Those football dreams right now are the closest they’ve ever been. But maybe just in closing — what’s amazing to me to watch is the football stuff hasn’t been everything you’ve wanted it to be, but it’s been this process, and it’s been this journey that I’ve watched be really transformation, and a forming of you becoming who you were born to be. As you’re looking at, “Hey, this could be your last season.” You have eligibility, but you could be 12 games away from being done as a football player.
Cole: 12.
Daron: You could be 12 games away. With how you’ve been formed and how you’ve become more and more who you were born to be, as you’re looking at, “Man, I could start, I could get on scholarship, the football dreams could be there” — does that have the same kind of hold it had on you before? As you’re seeing everything that God’s doing in your life, plus the potential this could be done, where are you at in a mental, emotional, spiritual place looking at those potentials coming forward?
Cole: Before I say that — one thing I’d like listeners to know too is, you guys have heard a lot of highlights. Those things are all great. These awesome Christ-filled stories. A lot of times in content we put out, “This is my best moment.” But for everyone listening, this has not been an easy journey at all. I really struggle, truthfully, with everyone here. It’s hard to deny yourself of these things. It’s hard to not put football as an idol. It’s hard to not put your friends as an idol. It’s hard to be alone at times. It’s hard to get up and do what we do. It’s hard to be disciplined.
For all of you — some of you are like, “Man, that’s so cool. Some 21 year old kid is doing that. Why am I not doing that?” Well guys, I’m in a unique position because my dad is who I am, but also I’ve just been given these unique opportunities. But there are a lot of really hard days, a lot of days I wake up being like, “Man Jesus, am I doing enough for you? Jesus, am I putting football above you? Am I not where you need me to be?” I ask those questions all the time.
I just want people to know — sometimes the Apostle Paul talks about boasting in vulnerability. It’s really important for you all to know — I have done some cool things, yes, but there are a lot of things I’m not great at. There are a lot of things I have to get better at. There are a lot of things that Christ has to refine my heart in.
To answer your question moving into football — one thing that’s really difficult is when you’re really close to something, you want even more. For me, it’s hard to remember that, “Hey, this is really close, this is really great, and you have a shot to chase your dream possibly for the final time. But don’t forget God in the meantime.” Because if you don’t put Him first, then I’ve found you’re going to eventually flare out. You’ve put so much into football, so much into your friends, so much into your job, so much into your family, your spouse, whatever it is, and you’re like, “I’m so close to this thing.” If you’re about to have a kid, “I’m about to be a father, I’m about to do this.” You can forget about God. When in reality, I find, you take a step back. If you don’t put God first, those things will fall apart.
It’s happened continually. I’ve been so close, and then I get disappointed in football. It’s like, “In the world? I did everything right. Why is this not working?” And God is just like, “Not yet.” And you’re like, “Okay. Well, why not? Why can’t I be right now? I want to be right now.” “Not yet.” “Okay.” Then you get super close again. “Not yet.” “Okay, this is starting to get annoying. I’m starting to get pissed, God. I’m going to quit.” Then you’re there, and maybe you do it one time and you get to play a little bit. You get a little bit. You get a promotion at your job. “Oh, God.” “No, you don’t get all of it yet.”
There’s also that point for me, just remembering — I was sent to Ball State to change my life spiritually. When I look at myself at 18 and 19, I would say I was a fan of Jesus. I was not a follower of Jesus. I think that’s a tough transition. When people say that, they’re like, “What does that mean?” Well, for me — I knew Scripture. I knew Jesus was good. I knew Jesus was grace. When people talk about a relationship, one thing that drives me nuts is no one explains their relationship with Jesus.
When you have a relationship with Jesus, you talk to Him every day. You spend time with Him. You ask Him questions. In big moments, you take a step back and say, “Jesus, make it clear to me what I need to do.” You’re in the Scriptures trying to change your life. You’re trying to fight temptation, not for yourself, but with Christ. Those are things I’m working through too — having a relationship with Him. “Hey Jesus, I can’t do this alone. If I want to play, I need your help. I need your physical protection. I need your mental protection. I need your spiritual protection. I need you to do this. Because if not, I’m nothing.”
Because if you put everything else in the world, it’s going to fall apart. It’s all temporary. When we have a relationship with Jesus, you talk to Him like your Father. “Father help me. Father be with me.” And another thing I’m praying to is, “Holy Spirit, be in me. Holy Spirit, fill me. Holy Spirit, tell me what to do.” Think about it like that. Because if you don’t have center of Christ first, you’ll eventually fall back and have to put Him at the center again. Sometimes it’ll pull you back, where you get injured or whatever. But intentionally putting Christ first is the only way to have eternal success. You can store up riches all you want here, but it doesn’t matter if you know of eternal success.
I think about, “I may not get it this year.” I hate saying that. I may not. But knowing that’s not who I am — sure, I’ll be disappointed. But maybe that’s just not what I was supposed to do. Maybe some other guy’s supposed to do that. That’s the hard part. You’re like, “You know what? All I can do is just do my best, leave the rest, and God is going to move.” Knowing that is difficult, but it’s really the only way you can go about it. Because sometimes it’s not up to you.
My final answer — why would I be worried about the opinion of a man, or the opinion of whatever’s going on, or a worldly situation, when God already has everything planned out? If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. If it’s not going to happen, it’s not going to happen. So you just got to move in faith while you do that.
Daron: Dude, I am so proud of you, Cole. It’s been an absolute joy to watch you, every step of the way, become more and more who God’s created you to be. You’re right — it’s not easy. But you have made the sacrifice and you’ve chosen the pain of discipline through a lot of this. What I’m excited about as your dad is to know that — yes, do I want you to start and run out on the field and play week one against Ohio State and record six tackles? Yes, that would be freaking sick. Made it happen, right? But if I felt like, as your dad, you’re at a place right now where your entire identity was wrapped up still in football, I’d be really concerned. What I have a strong confidence in you and for you is, whether it’s the greatest football season you’ve ever had or not, you’re becoming the kind of man that can continue to respond to the invitation that God is giving him to step into who He’s created you to be. I know you’re going to do a great job at that. Dude, so proud of you. Thanks for bringing the heat today. I put all of our notes from the last episodes into AI and said, “Just summarize some things.” AI called you the theological foundation of the last conversation episode. You brought the truth again today. I probably should have told them that PJ is going to want that as a name tag.
Great job, dude. I love you. I’m proud of you. I can’t wait to see what the next few months and the rest of this football journey brings to you.
Cole: Thank you. Appreciate it.
Daron: Hey, thanks for downloading this episode of The Daron Earlewine Podcast. Until we talk again, remember: God is for you, not against you. He is near you, not far away. And He’s created you on purpose and for purpose. Thanks for downloading this episode of The Daron Earlewine Podcast.