Most of us have been doing evangelism wrong
If the word evangelism makes you want to run, you’re not alone. For most followers of Jesus, it feels like a pressure-filled obligation rather than a natural overflow of faith. The fear usually comes down to one thing: the methods we were taught. From door-to-door campaigns to street corners with bullhorns, a lot of us have seen — or experienced — evangelism that felt more like an ambush than an invitation. Between 80 and 90 percent of Christians have never led anyone to faith. That statistic points to a real problem. And it’s time we talked about it honestly.
Evangelism is a commission, a calling, and a gift — not a formula
In Matthew 28, Jesus issues the Great Commission — go, make disciples, and He’ll be with you the whole way. That commission belongs to everyone who follows Him. But Scripture also describes evangelism as a specific calling — one of the fivefold gifts in Ephesians 4. Only about 11 percent of people carry that particular calling — the connector type, naturally wired to link people to people and people to purpose. And beyond that, it’s also a gift given in the moment. Jesus told his disciples: when you need to speak, the Spirit will give you the words. The problem comes when we treat evangelism as a science — a formula to follow — and miss the reality that it’s an art, and the Spirit is the artist.
Build a bridge of trust that can carry the weight of truth
The strategy a lot of evangelical circles have relied on is what might be called attack and extract — challenge someone’s beliefs, close the deal, pull them out of their old world and into yours. But that’s not what Jesus modeled. With the rich young ruler, He let the man walk away sad. With the demon-possessed man He healed, He sent him back home rather than extracting him. There’s a better way: look for people of peace. They’ll be drawn to you, open to what you believe, and they’ll serve you in small ways (an extra energy drink at a baseball game, for instance). Your job isn’t to reach everybody — it’s to walk faithfully with the people God places in your story. Show your scars. Build trust. The good news is simple: God is for you, not against you. He’s near, not far. He created you on purpose and for a purpose. Let people see that in your life.
Episode Summary:
Most believers freeze when they hear the word “evangelism.” But what if the method you were taught is actually what’s keeping people away, not drawing them in? Daron Earlewine and PJ Towle break down why evangelism feels so hard for most Christians, expose the “attack and extract” model that has done real damage, and lay out a simple, practical, and deeply Jesusy framework for sharing your faith in a way that actually works.
Key Takeaways:
- Evangelism is a commission for every believer, a unique calling for about 11% of people, and a gift of the Spirit, you don’t have to have all the answers.
- The “attack and extract” model is the opposite of how Jesus operated. Building a bridge of trust that can handle the weight of truth is the actual strategy.
- People of peace are already orbiting your life. They’re drawn to you, open to the kingdom, and they serve you. Respond to them and watch what God does.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Daron: If you’ve ever been terrified of sharing your faith with someone — so terrified that you just don’t do it — this is the episode for you. We’re going to make evangelism simple to understand and simple to activate in your life. I think this is going to be a really encouraging and equipping episode. Let’s jump in. Created on purpose and for purpose.
Welcome back to the Daron Earlewine Podcast. Daron Earlewine here, your host, with the one and only PJ Towle.
PJ: Hello.
Daron: PJ, we’re going to talk today about a topic that feels almost like a curse word to most followers of Jesus.
PJ: Is it a four-letter word?
Daron: No — that would be more fun if it were. It’s got a lot of letters.
PJ: Okay.
Daron: Evangelism.
PJ: Oh yeah. Okay.
Daron: If I got a group of people together and said, “Hey, great idea for the afternoon — half of you are going door-to-door to share your faith, and the other half we’re dropping off on street corners with bullhorns,” you’d have an immediate panic attack. Or people would just walk out.
PJ: I know a few people who’d be like, “Cool, let’s go.”
Daron: True. And to their credit — they genuinely love talking to people about Jesus. So I think some of this comes from bad experiences with methods of evangelism, or a bad experience with how it was brought to us.
Here’s a story. When we were touring with our band in college, we were down in Nashville doing a showcase at a bar on Broadway. We had a couple of hours to kill, just walking around chatting, and there’s this entryway to a building. As we’re walking, this huge black leather Bible shoots out from around the corner and nearly clotheslines me.
PJ: In someone’s hand?
Daron: In a hand, yes. This guy’s strategy was to time it so that as you’re walking, you either stop or you clothesline yourself. So there I am — boom — this massive leather Bible in front of my face. The guy comes around and hits us with, “Do you know the Lord Jesus Christ?” I said, “Actually, yeah, I do. We’re all in a band — actually playing a set down here at this bar today. Band of Christians. Love the Lord.” He goes, “What kind of music do you play?” I said, “Rock and roll.” And I am not making this up — he said, “Rock and roll? Elvis that skunk.”
PJ: [laughs]
Daron: He went into something about Elvis bringing rhythmic music from Africa, and the drums causing adolescents to — you get the idea. We exited that conversation as quickly as we could.
But that may be the experience you’ve had. Someone walking up and attacking you. And I think that leads to the fear around sharing faith — because we think we’re going to get into a conversation where someone will have questions we can’t answer. And I don’t know why no one tells us that “I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer. Or even better: “I don’t know — want to look into that together?” Because then you’re actually inviting someone into a discipleship journey.
I’ve been in bars, on radio, in churches, in companies — and I don’t have a strong memory of ever being obliterated by someone with deep theological questions. It’s almost like there’s a boogeyman out there we think we’re going to have to evangelize to.
PJ: God’s going to send you after Bill Nye the Science Guy, and he’s going to go, “Do you know about particles and neutrons? That’s why Jesus isn’t real.”
Daron: Right. But most people we do life with are probably wrestling with the same fears and worries we are.
And here’s another piece — this one kind of makes me sad — it connects to our recent episode about how our scars actually qualify us. I think a lot of times, and I know I’ve been here, we’re in a wrestling season with God. Failing more than winning. In a learning season. And we think: how am I going to come to you and tell you this is the best news ever when I’m grinding through it myself?
Whatever the statistic — and PJ, you’re welcome — they say somewhere between 80 and 90 percent of Christians have never actually led anyone to faith. So it’s got to be a stew of all of that.
But one of my greatest joys, and one of the coolest things you can ever be a part of, is watching someone come to faith. Actually discovering that God is for them, not against them. That He’s near, not far. That He created them on purpose and for purpose.
And I think we’ve missed something. We as Christians have said: if we don’t walk them through the steps — the pamphlet, the tract, the sinner’s prayer — then it doesn’t count. I had a conversation last night with someone Angie and I have walked alongside for almost 20 years. We’ve watched this person go from no real context of a faith journey to being one of the most on-fire people we’ve ever known. I didn’t pray the sinner’s prayer with her. I’m a pastor and all the things — but I was part of the story. Angie was part of the story. Other people from their church were part of the story.
I think we are part of the story. We just might not know it.
PJ: And there’s that idea — you get to heaven, and Peter turns you around and says, “See all those people?”
Daron: I think we’re trying. We’re trying to run after it, be open, have the conversations, say “I don’t know” and walk with people. We’ve just done a bad job of being open to that instead of being formulaic.
Let me give you a quick definition of three things I think evangelism is. And then I want to talk about a philosophy I see in a lot of modern evangelical circles that is very much not Jesusy — and I think it causes a lot of the problem.
So evangelism is at least three things. It’s a commission, it’s a calling, and it’s a gift.
It’s a commission. The Great Commission — Matthew 28 — says, “Therefore go, make disciples of all nations, teach them everything I taught you, baptize in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And here’s the good news: I’m going to be with you to the very end of the age. You’re not alone in this — so go.” As followers of Jesus, we are a commissioned community. We have a mission with God and He sent us out to do it.
It’s also a calling. Paul writes in Ephesians 4, “Therefore live a life worthy of your calling, because you have been called.” The fivefold callings — apostles, prophets, evangelists, shepherds, and teachers. In our work through Rogue Collective Coaching, we translate these as pioneers, creatives, connectors, nurturers, and guardians.
The evangelist — or connector — is a unique calling from God. It’s about 11 percent of the population. These people are usually extroverted, naturally gifted at connecting people to people and people to resources. Everything in their life becomes good news they want to share — the best steak, how to brew a great cup of coffee. They move through life curating experiences and relationships.
PJ: Like a curator.
Daron: Exactly. That’s my calling. I’m an evangelist, a connector-pioneer. And since I was a kid, I’ve always been drawn to connect with people who don’t know faith. I’ve always wanted to be on the outskirts of the church environment to reach people.
We had Jason Richmond on the podcast — he’s a connector in every sense. I called him yesterday and he immediately told me three people he wants to connect me with. That’s just what he does naturally.
The calling belongs to about 11 percent. But it’s also a gift.
Jesus, sending out the twelve, says: “On account of me you’ll be brought before governors and kings as witnesses. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time, you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” Now, that’s a more extreme context — you’re being arrested. But the principle carries. There’s going to be a gift given by the Spirit. He’ll give you what you need to say. Just pay attention.
So if we want to fulfill the commission, we may not have the calling and be naturally gifted at it — but that doesn’t mean we can’t step into it. Where we get stuck is when we’ve been taught that evangelism is a science, not an art. We miss the reality that there’s a gift, and that we’ll be given what to say, because some of us grew up with a script: start by telling people they’re going to hell. Tell them Jesus died and rose. Have them pray this prayer. Draw the cavern with the cross in the middle. Golden ticket. Done.
PJ: None of that is wrong, though.
Daron: Right, none of it’s untrue. But going back to the friend Angie and I have walked with for 20 years — do you think the first time we met her, we opened with, “Hey, I’m not sure I even know your first name yet, but I do know you’re an enemy of God and headed to hell. Does that hit you as good news today?”
PJ: Twenty years later, we would not still be friends.
Daron: Probably wouldn’t have had a second meeting. Someone could email and say, “You’re wrong, Daron — I lead with that every time and I’m batting 10%.” If that’s you, email us and we’ll put you on the podcast. But I don’t think I’d be proven wrong. Because life is not a formula.
PJ: It’s more of a paint palette. Not A plus B plus C equals whatever.
Daron: Right. And the things that get brushstroked across our life open us up — and that connects back to the scars episode. If those things hadn’t happened in my life, I never would have been here to receive or process the message the same way — versus someone shoving a Bible in my face on a street corner.
And the big piece for me is: if Jesus is our paradigm, we didn’t see Him do that. His message wasn’t, “Hey everybody, Jesus here. Just want you to know you’re all going to hell. But in a couple of years I’m going to die and come back from the dead, and if everyone comes to an altar call and says this specific prayer exactly right, then I’ll listen.” He didn’t do that.
In fact, there were times — like with the rich young ruler — where you’re waiting for Jesus to close the deal. And He just lets the man walk away sad. He didn’t turn people away angry very often. He let them walk away sad.
And so here’s the strategy I think a lot of modern evangelical circles have been taught. I’d call it attack and extract. You find people who don’t know Jesus. You attack their belief system. You attack their lifestyle. You come at them with truth. And if they accept it, you extract them — out of their friend group, their high school, their family, their religious background — into your camp. Circle the wagons. You won another one for the team.
There’s a movie — Saved, 2004, Mandy Moore — where she literally throws a Bible at someone and shouts, “I am filled with Christ’s love.” That’s the vibe.
And think about U2. Early in their career, they were part of a conservative Christian group in Ireland whose leader convinced them: you can’t be a Christian and be a rock star. We need to extract you out of the band. And they bought it. They literally quit. Thankfully, their manager Paul McGuinness reminded them of signed contracts — a tour and an album still had to happen. And thank God, because the kingdom work U2 has done over the past 40 years would never have happened.
That’s what religious people do. Separate. Make it about whether someone curses or drinks. I saw an interview with Noel Gallagher from Oasis and they asked who could drink more, Bono or a handful of other rock stars. He said Bono. No question. And that doesn’t make Bono less of a Jesus follower. All of it — our scars, our journeys — we’re working through it. We’re figuring it out. And how many songs has U2 put out that have created question marks for people about faith?
One of the most spiritual moments I’ve ever been in was at the United Center during a U2 show. For years they ended with “40,” which is Psalm 40 set to music. The show ends, the band walks off stage, and the crowd keeps singing scripture for ten solid minutes before they come back out. And you’re standing there going: I don’t know that all these people know they’re singing scripture right now. But they are. That’s an evangelist. That’s an evangelism moment. Not forced. Not strange. Not reading from a tract.
I keep quoting Jamie Winship in every episode — just go listen to his podcast, it’s better. But he said recently: “The goal is to build a bridge of trust that can handle the weight of truth.” Build a bridge of trust that can handle the weight of truth.
That’s a big part of what I’ve always tried to do. And I had a kind of missional freakout back around 2006 where I became so weird about it that my neighbor situation got awkward. I came home and Julie said, “It’s awkward because you’re not a real person anymore. You’ve become cartoon character Pastor Daron. Unless you’re at church, talking about church, doing church things, you don’t interact with normal people.” She was right.
Even as an evangelist, I got so inundated in church culture that I lost my sense of calling. Had to recalibrate. And I think that happens to a lot of people. You came to faith, then with good intentions, you left your friend group, your school, your music, your movies — and you completely saturated your life with the light. When we do that, we’re not going into all the world.
What happens then is we can buy into a deception: my life is so bright that my little light doesn’t make a difference. I don’t have some crazy dramatic testimony. But your neighbor probably has the same fears, the same shame, the same pain you do. And if you walk with hope — because Jesus is with you, not far away, for you not against you, created you on purpose and for purpose — that is hope. That is light. You just have to let a little of the dark in, or just realize it’s already there. Because the light defines the dark. And it expels it.
I have a pretty strong allergic reaction to religion, especially in a lot of North American evangelical circles. The message is often: extract. Only Christian music, only Christian movies, only Christian schools, only Christian friends. And I think there may be good intentions, but what a lot of that really is, when you watch it up close, is fear.
Jesus says greater is He that’s in us than he that’s in the world. He says the gates of hell will not prevail — and gates are defensive. You don’t run into battle with gates. If the gates of hell won’t prevail, it means we are the ones going into hard places to bring people into truth.
And then there’s Luke 8 — Jesus and the demon-possessed man. This guy has been living in tombs, possessed by a legion of demons, running around naked, breaking through chains. Jesus steps out of the boat, meets him, silences the demon, casts it into a herd of pigs, sets the guy free, gets him some clothes. The man is healed and in his right mind.
Here’s the part that gets me: the man begs, literally prays in the text, that he might come with Jesus. And Jesus sends him away. “Return home. Tell them what God has done for you.” And the man goes and proclaims throughout the whole city everything Jesus had done for him.
If there was ever anyone you should extract out of their old environment — this guy. Jesus says no. Go back. You’re going to have more authority in your hometown than I do.
Show them your scars.
PJ: Yeah, for real.
Daron: That’s it. Don’t attack people. Build a bridge of trust. Show them your scars. Let them know: even in my scars, I’m loved. And don’t think it’s your job to extract people out of their old life. The job is: walk with them. You may be the only light they have, and that’s exactly where you need to be. Building trust. Telling your story.
PJ: There’s so much openness in that. It’s so simple — just be. As opposed to follow this script, say this, look like this.
Daron: And we were all created differently. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t have the fivefold — we’d have just one fold, which is flat.
Luke Newton said on an episode recently this fascinating thought: God hasn’t aged. So every time we do something and experience something that is of Him, He’s excited like a little kid.
PJ: What a great picture.
Daron: So if we’re building a relationship with somebody and in some way starting to disciple them — don’t you think He’s going to be excited about it? Even if we didn’t follow the formula.
Here’s the cheat code I love that God gives us. When Jesus sends out the twelve and the seventy-two, He tells them both times to look for a person of peace. Go look for people of peace. If their peace returns to you, stay with them, eat what they give you. If they don’t welcome you, shake the dust off your feet and move on.
I remember feeling overwhelmed as a young evangelist, thinking I was responsible for all eight billion people. When I learned this concept about 20 years ago, I realized: I’m not responsible for everybody. I’m responsible for the people of peace connected to my story, my scars, my creativity, my personality, my ability to relate.
Here’s what I learned from Neil Cole about 25 years ago. Three things to look for in a person of peace.
First, they’re drawn to you. These are people who keep orbiting your life. You see them at the gym, you run into them at Kroger, and then your kids are on the same football team. Pay attention. They like being around you.
Second, they’re open to what you have to say — specifically about the kingdom. And here’s a risk for us: we can just relate to people and hang out and never actually voice our faith. People could be our friend for ten years and then go, “Wait — you’re a Christian?” So we do need some courage to say: I follow Jesus, and He’s giving me this kind of hope. When you do, a person of peace will ask another question. They’re curious.
Third, they serve you. Let me tell you a story.
A couple years ago I was coaching travel baseball for my son Knox, and one of the assistant coaches was a guy named Alan. We coached together for two seasons — forty to fifty games a year — and honestly, sometimes I just wanted to be Coach Daron, not Pastor Daron.
PJ: I get it. You don’t want to sit on a bucket at baseball and be Electrician Steve talking about 240-volt breakers.
Daron: Exactly. So I hadn’t brought it up. But I was noticing Alan was drawn to me. We always sat together on the bucket, laughed a lot, had a great time. About two years in, one day before a game he says, “Hey, I heard about that pub theology thing you do. My wife and I almost came last week.”
Oh. Oh.
A month later, I mentioned an upcoming event. He said, “Oh man, we’d actually really love to come to that.” And he gave me a little of his story. I realized I’d been sitting on a bucket with this guy for two years and didn’t know there was an ongoing Jesus story there.
And then — still not connecting the dots — we both liked energy drinks before games. One day I forgot mine and Alan had an extra. He offered it. I said thanks. Next game — he brought me another one. Third game in a row, he brought me another energy drink. And while I’m opening it, the Holy Spirit says: This is a person of peace. Are you kidding me right now?
So shortly after that I said, “Hey, I do this thing called a discipleship huddle every year. You ever been in a group of guys like that?” He loved the idea. Alan joined discipleship huddle. About four months after that, him, his daughter, and his son were baptized in my backyard.
PJ: So cool.
Daron: You don’t have to reach everybody. They are literally going to be hand-delivered to your life. Just respond. They’re drawn to you. They’re open to you. They serve you. It’s a cheat code.
Last thing — and this is something God’s been challenging me with around building the trust bridge. Picture a four-quadrant graph. Two axes: relate and lead. Where we want to be is both — relating deeply and leading people toward something. 100% relate and 100% lead.
Where I hang out too often is 100% relate and very little leading. I just want to be a regular person. What happens there is you hang out with people, and sometimes you get influenced more than you influence.
Bottom left quadrant — no relating, no leading. We don’t want to be there.
Top left — leading, but not relating. That’s the attack-and-extract deal. I’m not going to build a relationship with you, I’m just going to hit you with truth. Doesn’t usually work.
So where are you on that grid? If you’re relating a ton but not leading — you need courage. If you’re stuck in the bottom left, I’ve found that’s usually because you’re buried in your own shame and guilt. You need a fresh experience of God’s forgiveness and love for you. You need to discover grace for yourself. If you’re in the lead-but-not-relate quadrant, what you need is grace for other people. Compassion.
PJ: What’s fascinating is how much that lines up with grace and truth. You can’t be highly relational and highly leading without both.
Daron: 100 percent. So evangelism — it’s not a curse word. It’s not something to be scared of. It’s not clotheslining people on Broadway with a Bible. It’s just this amazing message: God is for you, not against you. He’s near you, not far away. He created you on purpose and for purpose. And the beautiful thing we get to do is walk with people and help them actually discover that good news.
God is setting people up for you. People of peace are all around you. They relate to your scars. Let’s do this.
PJ: Before we end — what if somebody doesn’t know if they’re an evangelist? They kind of feel like it might be them, but they’re not sure. What are a couple of practicals?
Daron: Okay, shameless promo for our resources — go to spiritualdna.me and take the Spiritual DNA online course. It’ll take you through understanding not just whether you’re an evangelist, but who you are in God’s kingdom, what your core motivations are, what you do better than 33 million other people, and where your greatest passion is — which is often where you’ll find the most people of peace.
If you don’t want to go that deep, check out The Five Voices — free assessment at fivevoices.com. There’s also APEST at apest.org and Alan Hirsch’s work. And the M-PACT assessment at mpact.org. Tons of resources to help you figure out if this is your calling.
And here’s the good news: even if it’s not your primary calling, it’s still the commission. God can still move you into it.
PJ: That’s great.Daron: Hope you enjoyed this episode. We’d love to hear feedback. Email us at daron@daronearlewine.com. Until next time — remember these three things: God’s for you, not against you. He’s near you, not far away. He created you on purpose and for a purpose. See you next time on the Daron Earlewine Podcast.