Finding Purpose Through Loss: A Senior’s Journey of Faith and Resilience
Ty Earlewine, the middle child of the Earlewine family, brings a unique perspective to the challenges of growing up in a faith-centered household. In his first podcast appearance with parents Daron and Julie, Ty reflects on the distinct advantages and challenges of being caught between two worlds—learning from an older brother while mentoring a younger one. His role as “the glue” of the family became evident when he naturally stepped into leadership positions through Young Life and FCA, discovering that his faith grew strongest when pouring into others. However, this realization came with an important lesson about maintaining his own spiritual foundation while serving as a guide for peers and younger students.
The conversation takes a profound turn as Ty discusses how his senior year unfolded far differently than the inspirational sports movie he had envisioned. Instead of following his brother Cole’s championship path, Ty faced the devastating loss of two close friends—Baron and Mason—within his final year of high school. These tragic experiences forced him to confront grief at eighteen while simultaneously helping his friend group navigate their own loss. Through worship music and prayer on the thirty-yard line, Ty found ways to honor his friends while maintaining his own faith journey. The losses taught him invaluable lessons about presence and authenticity, drawing inspiration from Baron’s quiet kindness and Mason’s infectious joy despite personal struggles.
Rather than becoming bitter or withdrawn, Ty emerged from these trials with a deeper appreciation for living in the moment and embracing each day fully. His experience demonstrates how faith, family support, and personal resilience can transform even the most difficult circumstances into opportunities for growth and service to others. As he prepares for college, Ty carries forward the lessons learned from loss—that genuine friendships don’t require constant communication, that joy can be chosen even in difficult circumstances, and that every moment deserves to be fully experienced rather than rushed through in pursuit of future goals.
Have you experienced loss that changed your perspective on life? Are you navigating the challenge of growing in faith while helping others through their struggles?
Ty’s story reminds us that our most difficult seasons often become the foundation for our greatest impact on others. Whether you’re processing grief, finding your place in your family or community, or discovering how your faith grows through serving others, you don’t have to walk that journey alone. Share your thoughts, questions, or experiences by emailing me at daron@daronearlewine.com. Sometimes the conversations that matter most happen when we’re brave enough to reach out and connect with others who understand the complexity of faith, family, and finding meaning in both joy and sorrow.
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Episode Summary:
Get ready for a deeply moving conversation about navigating faith, family dynamics, and devastating loss during the most important year of high school. Ty Earlewine opens up about finding purpose through unthinkable tragedy. This is part of a special family series where each Earlewine family member shares their perspective on faith, growing up, and finding purpose. Don’t miss the powerful insights from a young man who learned to find light in the darkest moments.
Key Takeaways:
- Middle children often become the natural “glue” that holds families together
- Faith grows strongest when we’re pouring into and serving others
- Worship music can be a powerful personal connection to God
- Grief doesn’t follow a linear path and affects everyone differently
- Living in the present moment is essential to fully experiencing life
- Authentic friendships don’t require constant communication to remain strong
- Joy can be chosen even in the midst of difficult circumstances
Notable Quotes:
- “I think I have a broader story than both Cole and Knox, just because I got to be both roles.”
- “I always felt like I was closest to God when I was getting to pour into others.”
- “If you still have an ounce of joy in you, like you should use it.”
- “If I’ve missed the moment I’m in right now, then I don’t know how much more of my life I’ll actually take in and enjoy.”
- “There’s not a day that I don’t live my life nowadays that I don’t take something from one of the two of them.”
- “You don’t have to consistently be around someone for them to like you.”
- “Even if you’re having a bad day, you can still turn it around pretty fast.”
Episode Resources:
Connect with Daron on Social Media:
Links to the Daron Earlewine Podcast
YouTube | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Libsyn
EPISODE 180 TRANSCRIPT
Daron: Created on purpose and for purpose. Hey, welcome back to the Daron Earlewine podcast. Daron Earlewine, your host, joined here for the Earlewine podcast that we’re doing with Julie Earlewine. Welcome back, Julie.
Julie: Hello.
Daron: And joining us now for his all-star interview, Ty Earlewine. What’s up, Ty?
Ty: What’s up?
Daron: Welcome to the podcast. I’m excited.
Ty: Very excited.
Daron: Very, very good. So we sat down with your brother, sat down with you, and then eventually we’ll sit down with all five of us and just kind of talking about all the transitions. Cause we’re in a kind of an interesting transition period as a family, Cole going into his junior year of college, you going to college here in a couple of weeks, Knox moving into high school. And so just sitting down with all you guys and just talking about kind of where you have been, where you’re going, what you’ve learned, and enjoyed all the conversations so far and excited to have you in the mix.
Ty: Excited.
Daron: So this is your first time on the podcast too, right?
Ty: Yeah, I think I did the radio show like one time.
Daron: That’s what Cole said. He was on the radio show too. All right. Well, let’s jump in. Julie, you got the first question.
Julie: Yes. All right. Your very first question of the day is… It’s like a longevity. Exactly. In our family, we have three children. What is something about, actually I really would like to hear this answer, what is something about being the middle child that you actually have liked?
Ty: I actually like a lot about being the middle child, but I think the biggest thing I liked about being a middle child was just like when you get to be a younger brother and learn from Cole all through your life and like once you got to a certain age, me and Cole became less of like fighting brothers and more of like friends. And then being able to take that and be like an older brother than Knox, it’s fun to have to get to play both roles. It can be difficult at times, like you still have someone ahead of you and you still have someone behind you. And like, I feel like you get lost in the middle a little bit, but a lot of times it has a lot of positives. Just like you learn a lot, you get to teach a lot. It’s just fun all around to be in every situation. You go to an older brother’s game and you learn from that, or you go to a younger brother’s game and you get to teach his friends or him at things like that, or just through all the situations that I’ve got to do from Cole’s connections that have now turned into now Knox’s connections through me. It’s just been a lot of fun, just being a middle child. I really know like if I could think of any negatives of it, I like when you’re little, like you always, I think about, oh, the youngest is the favorite and like Cole was like the oldest. So he got to do all the other things. But as I got older, I realized it doesn’t really matter. A lot of times like you have your own story. And that was just like, what was so different about being a middle child is like, I think I have a broader story than both Cole and Knox, just because I got to be both roles.
Julie: That’s really cool.
Daron: Yeah. That’s a great answer. I get a lot.
Julie: I do too. And there’s a part like, so I guess within that, you talk about sometimes, you know, they can say like a middle kid can get lost. You know what I mean? In the shuffle of things, but like, what are some things like in our family where like, like where you really do feel like you really get seen like our moments when it’s like, like, and has that been something that’s as you’ve gotten older or like when are there environments where you feel like, I’m really seen in our family?
Ty: I think there’s two times I really see myself like in like being seen. Obviously Knox hasn’t got to high school yet so he hasn’t had these opportunities but like when Cole went through high school he was very much sports focused and hard-headed about things and then once I got to high school sports were important but I was like this isn’t what I want to do full-time and I still played sports like all the time but I did a bunch of other clubs and other things that like I really cared about and then I felt like I got my I don’t want to say like seen like I didn’t do it to be seen but like once I started doing them just the ways that it started giving me another platform of like, hey, I’m doing Blue Crew or I’m doing FCA. One of those three things, one of those things outside of just being a football and baseball player and a student, whatever, just felt really seen. And then also I think I get seen, I see myself a lot of times sometimes in the absences that I’m not here. Mom and Cole are very hard headed and they like to get things done and you and Knox can butt heads sometimes about things. And I feel like a lot of times like I can be hard headed about certain things, but I can also be super chill about other things. And mom talks about this and I say this with a humble heart, like being the glue of a family and like being able to be seen of like somebody that like keeps everything in check and like doesn’t add extra problems when things are needed. Just like kind of being in my own lane, but also like making sure everybody else is still like connected and like together.
Daron: Do you feel like because I’m not talking about this. We feel like there was a pretty big shift for you two years ago, like when Cole went away for college. Like how have you noticed that when it’s like you became the oldest in the house and you didn’t have that. You know the persona of like we’re not just not the person he was a real person But like the older brother being here like how did how did that feel when you went from being the middle to being the oldest like what? What was the difference there for you?
Ty: I think it was very gradual like with Cole’s two surgeries like he was still home decent amount We really touched on that so like when he left I remember all my friends being like, it sucked when I left for college. And I was like, it sucked. And then it was like, OK, he’s back now for six weeks. And then he went away again. And then he came back from there like four weeks. So it was like very gradual to learn. But I also felt like, and this is just a difference between me and Cole and me and Knox is like me and Cole would go to everything together sports wise because we were so much closer in age, like a whole two year difference. And like I think when I left, Knox was still or like when Cole left, Knox was still at a point where he was going in seventh grade. So he wasn’t like grown up yet, like he was still like before puberty, like he was still like a kid. And then like gradually over time, he starts like becoming himself and like actually his true character comes out. And then I’m like helping and like shaping that, but I never felt like it was a real situation where like I was the big brother at this. Like unless it was like wildlife when I was like leading him, but like I also made it a big point to all the kids, like he’s my brother, but like here. Like I’m his leader, like it’s not like I favorite him anymore. If anything, I actually probably didn’t favorite him as much. I actually probably let him like figure it out on his own a little bit more. But yeah, I don’t know like a specific like time where like it clicked in my head of like, you’re like the oldest, the oldest here. Mom always jokes about like the house shifting, like the persona of the house. Like we go from like go, go, go and like stressed out sometimes about things. And then like when I was the oldest, it was always kind of like, yeah, whatever we want to do today, like we don’t have to do a bunch of stuff. And I think that might have been the click, but I don’t really have like a specific time where I was like, yeah, this happened to Knox. And I was like, yeah, okay, Cole’s not here. I need to be the big brother. I don’t think that’s happened. And I think it’s totally different in me and Cole’s just because of age gap.
Julie: Did you feel like you had more space to just kind of be you though?
Ty: Yeah, I guess I felt like I had a little bit more space to like be me, but I also feel like I had a little bit less like space to kind of be me. Cause like I was so like to myself when Cole was here, because I could be like, Cole’s going through his senior year, and it’s all this big stuff. And I would just kind of like float along with the flow of things. And then when I was the oldest, it was like… What are you guys doing there? It’s like I was like the one to talk to, because like I said, Knox was still pretty young. So like we were close, but Knox was still in that sixth, seventh grade boys stage where he butt heads with everybody because you’re changing and things. And I just think like for me, I felt a little bit more in the spotlight about my things. And I was going into my older years of high school. So sports got more serious with varsity things and and then like started doing wildlife and blue crew and everything. So like, I guess a little bit, but not to a point where like, I don’t know.
Julie: Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, that’s good. All of my life, my best friends have been middle children. And I think that’s a really interesting thing that I’ve noted. But like my two people that I consider like, you know, aside from being married to your dad, but my best girlfriends of my whole life have been middle girls. And I’ve always, I think it’s unique the way birth order works, you know? And I think it does create, firstborns create firstborn personas often and middle children create middle children personas and babies create baby personas our baby definitely creates a persona anyway But and so does Darren who’s the baby he creates a persona anyway, but One of the things that like I think for in the past two years with you That’s been really cool to watch is that I’ve realized that I have a unique connection with all three of you Like it’s a unique connection, closeness with all three of you, but they’re all uniquely different. And I think that the beauty of being a middle child that you bring has been such a blessing to me. It just, like I joke, I joke that like the vibe changed, which we had some really good friends tell us that the vibe will change and it should change because it’s necessary. It’s a good, it’s a great thing that happened. Cole getting the opportunity to go flourish and become like the man of God and like grow in independence. As Gary, it happened for you here in, you know, six weeks or so. But what do you think like you being the middle child, like how do you think that’s shaped you into the person that you’ve become become today? I have seen it in the past two years. Really come alive in so many positive ways. So I’d be interested to hear how you feel like, you know being a middle kid has shaped you.
Ty: I think like initially I think growing up it just kind of made me a little bit more to myself which can be good and can be bad You know, I wouldn’t say you’re to yourself like I handled some of my things but I say I handle things by myself or like I don’t need a bunch of other people like Being around me or talking to me or anything crazy I always joke about the social battery. I have a social battery and then once it’s out, I’m like, all right, I wanna be alone for a bit. But I also-
Julie: You’ve been that way your whole life. You were that way when you were little. That’s just how I was made.
Ty: I think also, I think being a middle child shaped me a little bit differently because I think it made me so much more, I guess, independent in certain things. There’s a lot of things that you feel like you can go unnoticed but then when the things do get noticed like it’s nice and I talked about earlier about like being a middle child of like being the older brother and the younger brother like it really does shape you to be like both roles of like you have to check yourself whenever like you know, you’re two years younger than your older brother, like you don’t, you can’t like, you’re not at that point in your life where you can do that or where you can like say that to like each other, or like you can’t like tell him what to do for certain things. And then like for Knox, it’s like, well now I’m in a situation where I can say these things, but it’s also been through Cole, been through me and now to Knox. So like it reframed to be more like direct, I guess. And like, I’m not saying like things are like, these are like bad things, but I think just like anything. It’s like, if you like, I think it’s like a joke, like you step up to Cole to like fight as brothers and like, Knox started doing that and it’s like as a middle child I was like well I’m never gonna beat Cole because he’s two years older than me and Knox like gets a big head about it and it’s like well not gonna beat me so it’s like it’s like a funny like analogy way to put it but it’s just like true it’s like you have your like your stepping stools and I think being the middle child like it molded me to like I have to be the one point I have to be like the older brother and make sure Knox is on the right path, but also I’d have to be the younger brother of like still receiving the knowledge from Cole because he was two years ahead of me in high school and two years ahead of me in sports and everything. So I think that was just kind of how it shaped me of like receiving knowledge before like actually giving it. And then once I gave it, I would critique it to like where I felt that it was delivered correctly or incorrectly or like however that was and then just like making that the person that I am not only in my sibling situation but like as you talk about like most your friends are middle childs like just like even in my friendships with my friends just like whatever it needs to be I just make sure that like I have that same mindset with my friends and I do at home because then if like home’s healthy then that’s how your friendships can be really healthy so that’s just kind of how I like I guess it shaped me like I don’t really know like what else to say like about shaping me like I don’t think it’s that’s been something I think about all the time. Like, oh, I got this trait because I’m middle child. I think it’s just like, those are the main things I notice. Just like, kind of checking myself sometimes before I give things out.
Daron: I think it’s interesting to see too, because I know, like you’re talking about, we could see, I mean, the Ty social battery would run out. I can remember times where people would be over whatever and then all of sudden, like people would be like not in our house and then Ty would be like by himself in the pool or something like just getting your own time. And it’s just been interesting too to see that like, I think there’s maybe there were points where like when you have an only have one kid and then like you’d parent them and you’re like, well, this is, I guess this is how this works. And then you have a whole new human being with completely different personality traits and everything and realizing like, there’s nothing wrong with Ty. He just enjoys it.
Julie: Yeah, and being able to and shift how we parented. Okay, yeah, we need to make sure he knows it’s okay. Of all three of them, he was really the only one that was able to play alone, go and be and entertain himself. You weren’t upset or anything. You legitimately wanted to play alone.
Ty: Like, we’re like, get away from me, all of you.
Julie: Overwhelming You’re all talking too much. Too many of you.
Daron: Definitely, that’s true. The order of it goes is Ty needs the most alone time. Then me, then Cole, and Knox and Darren never want any.
Julie: No, they never want to be alone.
Daron: Possibly true.
Julie: Probably. Possibly true.
Daron: So. Ty talk to me about the switch a little bit of the focus on on like your faith journey. So obviously, you know, our faith has been handed down, you know, through generations, Julie’s parents, my parents, know, not to not to to you guys. And it’s been awesome to watch that, you know, growth for you. Like, when would you say like? What were some like, I guess maybe some milestone moments or as you look back maybe I mean maybe through junior high but even you know in high school where you really started to feel like Yeah, I’m stepping into much more of an ownership of like my own relationship with Jesus.
Ty: Yeah, I think Like obviously like when you go like through Like your whole life starts to change with high school and everything like I remember like my freshman year Like I was still like very much like had faith and things, but like as a freshman in high school, like I just didn’t have that like personal one-on-one connection with the Lord. Like I was so obviously like believed in everything, but I just didn’t like understand that I wasn’t mature enough of like, okay, like this is a practice that needs to happen a lot for it to be like strong. But like, I think for me, when I like started to feel like the closest to God and they started to really take my like ownership of it was when I just got like the opportunity to lead for wildlife. And then like all through my personal wildlife and young life journey, like I had friends that would reach out or like would do something. And I always felt like I was closest to God when like I was like getting to like pour into others, which was really good. And like, I felt really close to God and like, but then also like there was times where, you know, life would stack up and people would be relying on you. And then you’d be like, I haven’t looked at my own faith and you know, a couple months and then you’re like, look at it you’re like, okay, well I’m giving out this knowledge, but I have, I’m not using it. I’m not like doing it in my own personal life. And yeah, and I think that’s just like, I always talked about it with my buddies or my wildlife kids, like about like finding what your rock of your faith is. Like there’s so many things that you can do to practice your faith, like easily prayer or like reading your Bible or worship music and I always challenge them, find the one that you really enjoy. And for the longest time, it was just kind of installed in me. The praying was the number one thing and then I kind of like wasn’t doing it as much and I was like, okay, well I’m not feeling the same connection as I used to and then I’ve always struggled to consistently read my Bible because I’ve been at church since I was literally born. I’ve heard these stories and I’m not saying anything bad about it. I’ve heard these stories a hundred times and every time you can get something different out of the Bible, which is just so awesome because it’s like a living text of your faith, but I think for me, once I found my rock, I really like worship music and it’s just like, it doesn’t have to be I don’t have to like force myself to do it. Like I can literally just get in my car and drive to work or drive to practice or to school and like be like 15 minutes and it’s just like worship music and actually listen to like what it’s saying, like which is what some music is like nowadays. Whereas people are like, oh, like the beat behind it’s cool. Like it sounds cool. And then you’re like, you don’t actually listen to the words. And I think that was like what worship music always did was like, once I learned all the words to all of them, then like you actually think about what you’re saying and like where you’re like professing the Lord. And I think that was just like, when I felt closest to God, when I was personal was like with worship music. And then like I said, when I was closest to God, normally it was just like when I got to opportunity to like Start other people’s walks of faith or continue them or walk alongside them and it was just like really interesting for me because like growing up like I said like I’d be able to play alone. I wouldn’t do anything where I was really like, I’d have time where I’d want to be alone. But when I’m in those settings, it’s like, if I’m with the Lord, I want to be with others. I want to bring people with me. And I just think that’s such a great skill to have. Humbly, I say it’s a great skill to have, and people have told me that. But I also need to work on the weakness of being one-on-one relationship with the Lord and not relying on the other people to bounce my ideas or my faith off of. But yeah, I’d say definitely leading and then just worshiping.
Julie: Well, I’ve noticed that one thing that I have seen in you since even when you were younger is I can remember times you coming back from like wildlife or young life and like and This is a gift. I think God’s given you and like it I can see it and maybe I see it because it’s how I operate a lot of times is like You would talk to me about you learn something and then you you immediately began kind of understanding it through how you would want to teach someone else or how you would help someone else through it. Like I can remember sitting in the driveway one time, you came back and like, you were just going on and on about how like the kind of friend you wanna be and how you wanna help people understand this. And then like you immediately sort of talking in like an analogy which is not normative, but I think it’s a teaching and communication gift that God’s given you where you were like, you know, it’s kind of like I see people, they’re like, you know, they’re in a hole and like, I want to dig down and I don’t care. And it was really well thought out, but it’s something I started noticing in you that like, I think there is something where you may learn and grow the most by serving and leading others, but I think you’ve made an amazing observation and this is something I had to learn is that, when you do grow by pouring out, you have to make sure that you’re refilling yourself or else eventually you’re empty. You know what I mean? So it’s been cool to watch that part of you grow in that. And so, just turn a little more of a serious tone.
Daron: A lot of times when somebody comes into their senior year, you have all these thoughts and dreams and it’s gonna be this and following in your brother’s steps with Cole, his senior year, they went to semi-state in football and they went to semi-state in baseball and since we are a big sports fan, it seemed like all these, it’s like a movie, know what I mean? Like an inspirational kind of movie. And your senior year started much more on a solemn note, where literally, you know, a few weeks before your senior year starts, we get a phone call that one of your, you know, childhood buddies, you know, unexpectedly passed away, you know, due to a heart situation. Then you get halfway through your senior year, and another one of your good buddies that you played with, played football all the way up, you know, died in a, you know, a tragic car incident, and like your senior year has kind of felt like a movie, but it wouldn’t be the inspirational, like, feel good sports story. I mean, it’s a broad question. I probably should make it more specific, but we’ll kind of chase the conversation around see where it goes. What’s that, what’s that been like for you to know that’s like, this isn’t the way I would have drawn up what my senior year and this ending of high school looks like, but you’ve had to walk through it, you know?
Ty: Yeah, I think like I always would like talk to my buddies about it like Knox’s friends like that I would never want like anyone to go through but I went through my senior year just like really difficult before the two incidences like I just really had never had real like grief in my life like a couple of family like health things that popped up like that were worryful but nothing that like truly like kind of like stops time for you. But yeah I mean like if you go watch any movie online it’s like oh your senior year like you do all this fun stuff like you’re supposed to like win all the state championships whatever. And I think like it really just changed a lot of the perspective on a lot of things. I think it kind of brought me back down to earth about what life really is, like your senior year high school, it’s like, I say like, it’s like a movie. It’s to be like so fun and like, it’s like the biggest year of your life, like whatever. But yeah, I think like losing both of them just really like, and there was parts of them that like, it was a weird way that my life came to be in the last 365 days. Like it has been a year, since everything happened since the first one happened. And I just, it’s just like, really like, I guess like shocking to think about. I think about it like a lot. It’s like always like a thing that I think about. But I also think it was very interesting, like it happened twice. I think like the first time it was a situation like very, very sad, very like full of grief, just really, really like torn apart about it and didn’t really know what to do. And then like the second time it happened, same thing, like it still very, very sad and very like full of grief. And then I just like felt a lot a lot more anger. Maybe it was just like, cause it happened again or whatever, but I just felt a more like anger in that situation. And, but it was also really weird, like being one of the people that had already been close to something else like that. And like being able to like walk your friends through that at 18. It’s really, really weird. Just like the whole idea of it all. Cause like loss is just so like devastating and it’s just really confusing. Like. It gets really hard to wrap your mind around like that. It’s fully like they’re like they’re actually really gone. And I just think that like change my perspective on just how I live my life. I also think like I mean that day I said I haven’t before like first three weeks of my year and then my entire senior year I got to honor him and everything I did through my senior year just like with prayer and like not only like did that become a part of what I wanted to do for me and for their family. But also like the Lord took my simple thought and like it went everywhere. Like a bunch of people had patches and football team wore stickers and like photographers would always take a photo of me like praying on the 30 yard line for him. And like that was all over the Instagrams. And then like it’s in the yearbook now. Like I never did it to like get attention. I did it because I lost my friend and I felt close to him when I did that. But then yeah, just like to be able to honor him and like have that legacy, like continue with him. And like I said, it’s been a year. It’s really, really weird to think about that you’ve gone through so much in a year. But it also still feels like really fresh. It’s almost like you get to these marks and things happen and it gets really difficult again. And then like the second time I talked about, like, I think it was just a lot more of just like, what is the Lord doing in my life right now? It’s supposed to be like the best year of my life. I already like have started to like get back on my feet from the first one and it just happens again. And then like, that’s really when like I was super close to the Lord after that happened. Just really relying on him, like trying to figure out what was happening. And then like that month afterwards, just kind of like when things kept going on with that situation, just really, really doubtful about like the Lord, just like, don’t really know what to do. I was like, there’s no way this is like going to turn into anything. Like this doesn’t make any sense. And then like, I’ve seen it more and more, like the, there’s no good way that it can be. like the ways that it’s affected my friends and the community and just the ways that like people have come together or like found the Lord or started to like figure things out or just even appreciate life itself more. like I have like even myself, like I just, whenever I catch myself looking ahead in life to college or to whatever, I’m like, well, if I’ve missed the moment I’m in right now, then I don’t know how much more of my life I’ll actually like take in and enjoy. if I just keep looking for the future. So I think it just really impactful. It was really impactful. Like learning the tough lessons of grief. And then also being like, you have to live in the moment. Cause if you don’t live in the moment, then you’re miss it and then your entire life you’re gonna wake up one day and you’re gonna be like 50 you’re gonna be like I have just been looking forward to college and then my job after college and then finding him like finding a spouse and then having a kid and then like always like the baseline dream that people say they have but just really being like okay it’s my summer before my college summer before my freshman year of college like all right what are we gonna do right now and then we’ll figure that out when we get there I think that’s just kind of how it impacts me because both instances were very abrupt and just like blindsighting. So I think it was just, it’s just a very weird lens that you get on your body, like on your, on your mind. Once something like that happens and it just sucks that that lens comes from such tragedies, but I’m also grateful for it because it’s just made me enjoy the time that I have a lot more.
Daron: Do you feel like being able to help others in the process, because obviously, you know, with your leadership with, you young life and discipling, you know, younger kids, and then just, you know, I think from our parental perspective, like, it was, it felt very obvious to see the positive, I guess, spiritual impact that it had on kind of your friend group. But do you feel like helping others through the process help you deal with your own grief? I mean, did you seek after that like purposely or did it just kind of came natural? I mean, what are the, cause I think grief is a really confusing and difficult thing. I think we can get stuck in it really, really easily. Cause it’s, it can be so cyclical. It’s not like a linear thing. Like I’m on, I’m better now. Right? So I mean, I think I would think mom would agree. we think you did a phenomenal job of, of being there for people and being a sounding board and helping people in the process. But is that something you sought out? Cause you thought it would help you or it was just kind of a natural response?
Ty: Well, when the first, when it first happened, like the first loss, no, I don’t think it was natural at all. I think I did it sometimes as a coping thing. I like, I help other people. I’m not going to like have to deal with it myself. And then that’s just really where I caught like, really caught up in my own emotions and it just like didn’t heal, as much as you can heal from something like that, but as fast as I could. And I didn’t want to rush that process at all, but I was not saying I was wanting to go faster, but like I just delayed it a lot, putting myself in others. And then when it happened the second time, I was like, well, I’ve already gone through this. I know what this feels like. And that I didn’t like seek after it, but I just found myself in situations a lot of times where people like would rely, like lean on me, for things. And I remember being like, I’ve gone through this. I kind of know what I’m doing, but that’s what really sucks about grief is like, you think you know what you’re doing. And then like, you completely process it differently. Like first time I was very sad and sorrowful, so it was the second time, but the second time I was just a lot more angry. But the second time I started feeling myself like if I was around others, I wouldn’t be as sorrowful. I feel like I could distract myself from it a little bit. And then I remember like one of the nights I tried to go back to like my normal life and go to like a baseball training and on the way home, like just like finally process what had happened like for myself and just. Hi, bud. My dog joined the podcast. Yeah, our dog is… He’s probably sensing something. Yeah. Sensing the fact that… Type those settings. I think it was just like, and then like finding process for myself and just like breaking down and understanding like what had happened. But yeah, think grief is… Grief is really hard to go through, but I also think grief is really, really easy to sometimes push away. And that could just be for me. Like I’m not saying this is like the general public definition of grief, because I don’t think there is a definition of grief. Like I think you go through it so differently with everyone. But for me, like it was so easy for me to be like, well, if I don’t think about it, like it’s not going to be. And like, even if I tried not to think about it, I would still think about it. But I would just like, if like I had a moment where I started like getting overwhelmed or like emotional, I just like shut it down. And then like, that’s why I said, like it just like those scars took longer to heal and life. yeah.
Daron: When you think about Baron and you think about Mason and in losing them, what is one thing like in the grief because of losing them you think you want to do better? Because I think in life we learn a lot of lessons obviously through our faith, but we learn a lot of lessons through what we go through with people. And he uses people, God uses people in our scenarios on this earth. And like if you had to think of like something of a Like I know you know this about both of them, but what is like, what is the thing that stands out to you about both of them that you want to take and carry on? And that’s maybe something God showed you or just a moment in time showed you, but like sometimes in our grief, we unfortunately learn how to be a better us. Has that happened to you? And would you put words to anything that, you know, each of the way they live maybe impacted you to live more that way now?
Ty: Yeah, I I think for sure. I think, well, Baron and Mason are very much different people in aspects. Baron was very quiet, very, like he was, I loved being around Baron with everything in me. And like, I think that’s what I took out most of it is like, Baron was just always kind and always in like a good mood and always joyful. But he was to himself and that was what we all loved about Baron. Like it was very, you know, like he was our friend and you never had to worry about him not being your friend. Like we would do whatever. And I always was like, were together all the time. And I think that’s what I learned about it is like, you don’t have to, like, you don’t have to like consistently speak or like consistently be around someone for them to like you. Baron just had like a gravitation of like someone to really love. Which was the hardest thing. Cause like at first, like high school got busy and I didn’t talk to Baron as much. And then when it all happened, like, I was really sad, but I never like really caught myself feeling regretful about anything. Cause I knew that in my heart and I hope in Baron’s heart, like we were still very good friends and that was just how we always were. Like I not as much guys nowadays, what’s sold to me and everything. Like you don’t see a lot of guys that text each other all the time every day to keep their friendship up. But if you see them and like played basketball with Baron all the time and then played rec basketball at the high school with Baron, like just like the simple text for interview on our team and it was a lot of fun. And then like, which is a little different because when Baron’s like so quietly comfortable and then like with Mason, Mason was so joyful and loud and like expressive. And I think that’s what I learned the most from Mason. And I always had, like my freshman year I didn’t really want to play football. And I was like, all right, I’m to try this out again. It’s high school football. It’s supposed to be fun. And like Mason was the first guy that I really like was around a lot. I mean, I played, we both played defensive back. And I was just always around Mason played the same side, like same side of the field, like all the time. I think, and you see videos of Mason and everything of Mason, like dancing around and having fun. And like, I never really was around Mason. He was never like, you know, carrying a lot of sorrow or like giving your, giving his problems to you. And, Mason’s Mason had a hard life. Like Mason really did. And He still was so expressive and so loving to everyone else. And I think that’s what I learned the most of which like the simple idea of like being joyful and like enjoying the moment and like smiling all the time like can really change. Like if you have like a, something really sucks and you’re like, I’m having a really bad day. And then you’re like, well, me sitting here having a bad day is not going to do anything for me and the people around me. And I think that’s what I learned from Mace is like, even if you’re having a bad day, like you can still turn it around pretty fast. Mason was a very tough competitor in football and everything. He was very good. And he would get frustrated with himself about things. And then like, we’d kind of calm him down and then he’d be back to like his fun, like, let’s go play like attitude. And I think that’s just what I learned like about like front Mason so much. It’s just like, if, if you still have an ounce of joy in you, like you should use it. And that’s what Mason always did. And I love that about being around him. And I think that was just like the hardest thing about it is like someone so falling energetic and joyful. Like that’s a really sad thing when it’s like someone and obviously Mason had so much potential with everything he did. And like we all walked through that process with him of like, dude, like you can legit like make it. And he did, and it was like really awesome to see. And I think that’s just what added so much more to it all. Just Mason’s potential and everything. But yeah, I, there’s not a day that I don’t live my life nowadays that I don’t take something from one of the two of them. And I think like. I mean, I had learned these lessons before they were gone, but I think they stuck to me a lot more now that like. They they are, I mean, they’re not gone. I will see them again because both of them like they were Christians and they believed in that. So I think it’s just like and their families are so loving and like they’ve given me so much and taught me so much and just given me so much love over the years. And even since both the neck. Tragedies, like they’ve both done a lot for me more than I think even maybe they know. Just like seeing how strong they are in the different things they do. But I think there’s definitely more that you learn from things like that and like from the people. Once they’re gone, you notice a lot more. But those are the two things that I definitely notice about the two of them.
Daron: Well, I think, you know, one thing we’ve talked about is, you know, I remember talking to my friends and adults about like, you know, when this happened this year of like, Hey, have you ever in your life lost two friends in one year? And it’s like, I don’t know, like all my adult friends, everybody’s like, no, like I’ve never had to go through that. So for your class to have to experience that, like, You know, we’re not gonna get into theological debate in this podcast of like what God causes and what he allows and his plan for things, whatever. I don’t know the answers to that, but I know that there is gonna be an opportunity that you guys are gonna be uniquely prepared to live with a depth and with a love and with a perseverance, you know, that a lot of kids will not have the opportunity, I guess you could say, to live at that depth. I think it’s been, Mom and I have been super proud of the way that you’ve walked and led through that. And it’s nothing that anyone involved in either situation would have chosen, but I think you and your friend group have done great job coming through it.
Daron: Hey, I hope you’re enjoying this episode of the Earlewine Podcast. And as you can tell, as a family, we definitely like to talk. And so these episodes went a little bit longer than a regular episode. And so we’ve cut them in half. And so this will be the first half of this conversation. We come back. We’ll close the conversation out. Hope you’re enjoying it. We’d love to hear from you. You can always email me at daron at daronearlewine.com and please subscribe to the channel, whatever you’re watching or you’re listening to. I would love to have you be a part of the growing community of the podcast. And until we talk next time, just remember God’s for or not against you, is near you, not far away, and he’s created you on purpose and for purpose. See you on the second half of this episode.